Lost in the Mail

I posted a picture of my friends enjoying our St. Patrick's Day girl's day with a caption that depicted what might have been a can't miss event and like any other time a photo of individuals having fun is posted, someone commented "Put me on the list for next year."

What possesses someone to request an invitation to an event occurring 364 days in the future with a group of friends who expressed no desire to include strangers? Do NOT ask me "where is my invite?" YOU DO NOT HAVE ONE. IT WAS NOT AN OVERSIGHT. YOU WERE NOT INVITED. YOU WON'T BE INVITED NEXT TIME. IF I WANTED YOU THERE, THEN YOU WOULD BE THERE. Perhaps I'm annoyed for no reason, but I personally think it's rude to publicly solicit an invitation on social media. I scroll through IG and FB and see "Damn, no invite?" posted on pictures of food, weddings, parties, picnics, spa days, shopping trips, EVERYTHING! NO! YOU DID NOT GET AN INVITE!! Shit's maddening. 

After a twitter venting session, the homie @Jonmicol suggested showing up to places as soon as people post pictures and check in on FB. Why ask for the invite? Genius. From now on, if you post an unsolicited request for an invite on my damn social media, I WILL be inviting myself to whatever the fuck you're doing. On a date? Yo. I been wanting to try that restaurant! Heard the truffle butter was fiye. At the movies? I'm calling your name and using my iPhone flashlight in the theater until I find you. You getting married? I'm Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn in that bitch. I AM SHOWING UP WITH A WHOLE MUTHAFUCKING CREW.

Look. Just don't ask me where your invitation is. It's rude as fuck but I'D be the rude one to tell you your shit got lost in the mail.