Five Things I Really, Really Love

Disclaimer: I was about to post about Richard Sherman but decided that I wanted to keep my blog a happy place and not cuss anyone clear the fuck out so I proceeded with my previously planned post instead.  Happy Hump Day!!

So far, my postings have been lists...I promise that won't always be the case, but as I was considering topics for this week, I kept coming up with ideas that involved me complaining about things that bother me.  I don't want to be that person this year, so I decided to shift my focus for at least this post...I can't give you sunshine and rainbows all year long mostly because bitches be pissing me off and shit but I'll try for this week.  Today, I'm a happy camper and I want to share what makes me feel good. *hint: It's not bacon...well, it is...just not on this list.

1) Making plans

I LOVE TO PLAN SHIT!!!  Give me an event, a theme, and a budget and I will plan the shit out of it down to the very last detail.  Vacations, parties, and grocery lists are treated with the same care.  Most of this stems from my need to be in control of everything and my inability to not buy stuff.  I currently have a Mardi Gras themed birthday party and a vacation to Morocco in the works.  I don't know why I don't do this for a living...probably because I get bored easily and my child would starve when I decide planning stuff isn't what I feel like doing right now.

2) Inside jokes

A friend of mine can say "27 seconds" and I will laugh like a fool.  We are the only two people who know what it means and it makes me feel really good to share a secret with someone.  Inside jokes are the best thing to ever happen to friendships and I'm juvenile enough to find comfort in laughing at something other people don't know.

3) Dresses and open toed shoes

I have 54 pairs of open toed shoes.  I have maybe 7 pairs of boots.  I know I live in Chicago.  I know I can get more wear out of boots than a peep toe stiletto.  I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT.  I also have more dresses than sweaters. Who gon' check me?!?!?  If you invite me to an event where dresses are an option, I'm buying a new one. I have enough dresses and shoes to outfit a freshman class of girls for their high school homecoming dance...in a small town, of course. Look at my happy smiles!!!

DRESSES AND TOES!!!

4) True Crime Shows 

I can get away with murder. Like, literally. I've watched enough Investigation Discovery to pull off the perfect crime. I've seen every episode of Snapped. I can pinpoint where everyone goes wrong and know exactly how to avoid these pitfalls. Fortunately, I'm not a sociopath, but if I had slightly less emotional connection to others, I'd totally be a serial killer...one who never gets caught. Jen the Ripper. 

5) Popping pimples

I will extract the shit out of your blackheads so don't fall asleep anywhere near me if you've got untreated acne. I've got a medicine cabinet full of facial treatments and tools: Biore strips, benzoyl peroxide, scrubs, masks...giggety. I swear I get all tingly at the sight of a perfectly ripened zit ready for me to squeeze. It's gross but I don't care. I'm popping. 

This list was pretty difficult to narrow down...I had to leave off the obvious things: sex, bacon, wine, beer, football, Gouda. I love all of those things...I should do this again. I love a lot of shit.